New Symptoms Creeping In

I've had my diagnosis for 17 days and only really had one symptom, which was my eye.  I decided to follow the restricted diet that I found on the OMS website.  As I said in my last post, this gave me the sense of having some control over the progression of my disease.  If the diet can reverse symptoms in some people, then surely it would keep symptoms at bay for the newly diagnosed.

Not the case.

On June 21 my right foot started to go numb.  The first indication was the third and fourth toes felt like they were asleep.  I figured that it was the shoes that I was wearing. Maybe they were too tight; hopefully they were too tight. Unfortunately the tingling and coldness spread to the top of my foot as well.  I spent the weekend at home, in bed, watching Netflix and feeling sorry for myself.

I also had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that this was a symptom at all.  Isn't it convenient that I only got another symptom after diagnosis? Is my brain creating this sensation just because I know I have the disease and I'm looking for symptoms?  It's been a week already and the numbness remains. So, I'm going to let myself believe this is real and that it's just a part of my new normal.

It's really hard to get my head around the fact that this disease is completely unpredictable. What works for me won't necessarily work for someone else. How I progress and the severity of my symptoms will be wildly different than the next person.  You do what you can to stave off the symptoms, but when they increase it's a shot to the heart. What's the point? Why am I trying this? Can't I just eat cheese again!?

The answer is: I can't prove that this isn't working. Maybe if I hadn't been dieting and taking supplements my whole leg would be numb.  Maybe the diet minimized the effect of this flare up.  That's the thought that keeps me going.  That's what get's me through the day of delicious temptation.

I can't prove that this lifestyle change is doing anything. I also can't prove that it's doing nothing. I can only go forward with the mindset that being healthier in my day to day life will not make me worse, and maybe hold on to the thought that I have any control at all.

~MS. Diagnosed